Welcome The Dark Wanderer

"The Dark Wanderer"

Hi,

This is my second post in this blog, and I am not proud but ashamed of this fact, because I had planned to write one post every alternate day to keep my life going, somehow due to a long pending visit to one of the most revered temples in North India, I was out of net connectivity for a while. So now I am back with a fresher mind and a new outlook towards life. 

Let me begin with a few questions today....

• Do you think of yourself to be a good person?

• Are you a person who likes to see goodness in everyone around?

• Have you ever realized that howsoever nice, bright and positive person you might be but there are certain moments when you are at your worst, emotionally?

• Have you ever tried to look for the reason for that negativity in yourself?

• Have you ever felt disbelief seeing the negativity garnered inside you?

If your answer to the first two questions is yes and for rest a no, then either you are lying or you have not spent any time with yourself to analyze your inner self.

This picture is the million dollar question and the key to the basis of our personality and our level of awareness about our true selves. 

Personally speaking I don't think we need a mirror to know who we are because if we are self aware, we know it very well about the innermost aspects of our personality. The pros and cons of our emotions and mindsets.

So what is wrong with us? 

Take it this way, one fine morning after a deep slumber of self ignorance suddenly you wake up (I call it shedding my ego) you question yourself if there is something wrong with your own basics that is causing chaos with your life and emotions? 

At this point of time when we are face to face, with our inner self, we have that grab and run moment which can actually change our lives. Unfortunately, we don't find such moments to be pleasing and comfortable ones, as we presume them to be. 

This is the point where we get into a denial mode, which instantly blocks our clarity of mind and thoughts. We unconsciously get inside a cocoon to defend ourselves.

Yes, we lie to ourselves as we defend ourselves and the worst thing is that it is defending not from the negativity inside us but from the powers outside and all around us which push us to a dark corner where we cannot find anything else but negativity and toxicity. Our feelings about everyone gets engulfed in negative thoughts and we block our vision to see any sort of goodness in anybody. 

Who is this Dark Wanderer within us?

We are all human beings with certain unannounced moments standing face to face with the dark wanderer within ourselves. Who is this dark wanderer, who attacks us from the unseen internal cracks in our existence. 

I have faced many such scary moments in my life. Did I say scary? Oh! yes, because I was afraid to acknowledge that I can ever find so much of darkness hidden inside me. I refused to accept the fact that there can be such moments when I would be so weak that something in me would refuse to recognise my own self. I had been scared to face my darker version all through but the moment I decided to uncover, acknowledge and face that darkness, I saw the light within me. 

How to befriend that dark wanderer inside you.

Who doesn't want to grab the sparks of positivity and hope? We all wish to reach for the light , but the most complicated task is to learn to connect to your dark version. Here are a few pointers which help me off and on when I tend to get lost in the vulnerable moments full of nasty talk, toxicity spread all around me. 

Give a name or personality to your dark self 

The first step towards facing your darkness is to befriend it. No, this is not that crazy an idea as you are thinking it to be. I really mean it. 

Thinking of our darkness as part of our being is like facing it without any defensive thought. I realized that addressing my darker inner version with a kind of personality made things easier for me. I call my darkness "The dark wanderer", because it's difficult to control this dark nomad inside me. Like an unseen obsessive traveller, it keeps coming and going in and out of me. 

The moment I gave my dark wanderer a touch of life, it made a sort of connection with the brighter side of me. My dark wanderer, I realise is nothing else but a shadow of me which at times engulfs me and takes me into its dark folds of lifelessness and depression. 

Why my dark wanderer makes me suffer?

This darkness which encompasses a part of us is something we all want to avoid as it is heart wrenching and painful. Another fact to be considered is that it is painful and tormenting because somewhere it is linked to a part of us, which we consider murky and shameful. 

This darkness has an indirect or direct connection with certain inner wounds of ours which we find difficult to acknowledge. These are the wounds which make us feel vulnerable and weak, thus we don't accept them.  

These wounds might be due to any reason, but they hurt so we disown them, resulting in tormenting ourselves all the more. This disowning of a part of our selves causes our fall from one slippery road to darkness leading to another. 

Is it safe to tame this Dark Wanderer?

We need to understand one thing that light and darkness are two opposing ideas yet so connected to each other that can't be thought of without each other. They exist because they are related to each other. If we refuse to acknowledge and embrace our dark side we will never be able to enjoy and relish the brighter side of us. 

Looking for the dark wanderer inside us might be dangerous. If we are not able to own it as a part of us, there are chances of incurable depression. But if once we come to terms with these dark crevices of our inner self then no one can stop the bright light at the end of the dark tunnel, which is the ultimate path of reaching the state of self awareness and enlightenment of our soul.

Acceptance is the key to happiness in life

Acceptance is the best option when you are stuck, it can be acceptance of your failure, acceptance of loss or any such thing that hinders your progress towards betterment in any direction.  

If we are looking for a rewarding and fulfilling life, then accepting the darkness inside us and analysing the reasons of it's existence is the only way. 
Acceptance is the only way to get healed of many past wounds and grow above shallow things in life. 

Till I come back with another thought rumbling of mine here I leave you with Carl Jung......

Have you met the dark wanderer inside you? Do comment how do you handle your darkness.